I'm working on improving my life...aim to get back to work etc. eventually but it's a work in progress....

Recovery from mental illness takes time ....I've been in and out of hospitals since 2010....the picture was taken just before I got admitted to an eating disorder clinic for severe bulimia but all I got there was bed and food and no therapy but was still working even doing agency care shifts whilst on home leave from the eating disorder clinic. In 2012 my self harm got worse and I got suicidal because of my eating disorder and other stuff and in between 2012 and 2014 took approximately 60 overdoses (God knows why I'm still here but obviously for hopefully some positive reason) and I got diagnosed with personality disorders. In 2015 my mental health got so bad I was sectioned for a year and sent to an out of area locked rehab for ladies with personality disorders but again got no therapy as the psychologist left.  I was discharged to a supported rehab for 2 years and they helped me get funding to do my riding instructor exam but I was dependant on alot of support as I was struggling living back in the community after so long in hospital.  All my old friends lives had carried on without me so it got to a point I was only socialising with paid staff. I have had support at my flat for a year and a half...they help me do my food shopping because of my anxiety around food and my eating disorders and staff do my meds in a morning because of my overdose risk ( I'm proud to say I haven't taken any overdoses in a year), and they were helping me do social stuff.
I have recently started a group therapeutic community, a therapy for people with emotionally unstable personality disorder to learn coping skills to manage emotions in a healthier way than eating disorders and self harm although my eating disorder is the biggest problem now rather than self harm so I'm hoping it might help that in some way alongside seeing a dietitian for meal planning support.
I'm at the therapeutic community for 2 years but seeing as I've been heavily involved in mental health services for 10 years 2 years will be worth it if it means a more positive normal life....one that I didn't think I wanted or deserved....but I dont want to die before I have found some enjoyment in life and have achieved positive things.
I had put some building blocks in place myself. I got a car and got back driving which gave me back independence to go to see Warwick my horse regularly and to be able to do some volunteer work at Bransby horses rescue and rehab. Joining All for one choir was definitely the best thing I did a year ago. It is the first place i have felt i fitted in and made friends outside of mental health services in a long time and I love singing  I would definitely recommend singing in a choir for mental wellbeing.
I'm doing a sponsored swim to raise money for people with spinal injuries and am achieving it. I have to make myself eat regularly to be able to do the swim and am aiming to get fitter and look better without obsessing over a number on the scales.
My goal of the 2 year therapy is to first sort out my eating disorder issues and then look at some sort of voluntary work in care then aim to get back to work as a support worker after, and would also like to do some teaching horse riding. This may take a while, I feel embarrassed telling people I dont work and do tell some people the whole story but not all situations are appropriate to tell a whole story which is why I'm open on Facebook....Life can and will get better....

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