Life is a journey not a destination so .....my story isn't over yet;...me

 Today is time to talk day (1st February 2024), a day to encourage people to talk about mental health to help break the stigma and encourage people to reach out for support. 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem in their lifetime, from mild to moderate anxiety and depression, to more severe and enduring Mental Health problems such as eating disorders, personality disorders, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Often people are blamed for having a mental  health problem and just told to be positive, but you wouldn't tell someone with a physical illness, stop behaving the way your physical illness is making you behave, yet often people are told things like this with mental health problems. I've often shared my mental health story to help raise awareness and to help explain to people why I am the way I am but although I do that I do often feel ashamed and guilty that I struggle the way I do,

 I often write my blog to express my frustration, not at individual services but at my frustration of trying to get the right help at the right time for my eating disorder, especially times I'm struggling more. I first asked for help for bulimia in 2002 after it affected me doing what was a dream job at the time looking after rescue horses and I had to move back home. That was when I first openly admitted my eating was a problem, before then I hadn't seen it as a problem and was in denial if anyone confronted me about it. In 2002, apart from some mild self harm when I was 14, I didn't self harm, hadn't took any overdoses, I just had text book bulimia. My gp at the time referred me to a community psychiatric nurse (who back then had very limited training in eating disorders unless a specialist) so I got no therapy, saw a few other nurses and psychologists over the years who told me they didn't understand eating disorders and after a few years a local eating disorder

 I haven't written a blog post in ages and I never know how open to be, but I guess some people will judge or not understand, some will learn what it's like to live with an eating disorder and other mental health problems and some are supportive. It's easier to be open online rather than in person often, you don't want to bring the mood down when in alot of social situations and food is such a big part of life especially socialising but it's hard to explain to people why your struggling too. If someone is anorexic, it is visible, people see the person as ill and don't judge it but someone with anorexia didn't start at a visibly low weight, their eating disorder thinking and behaviour started long before and sadly often the way society is they will have been admired and praised for their weight loss regardless of how it was achieved or how mentally unwell the sufferer is. Often people with anorexia also have a history of bulimia and often switch between the 2