Life is a journey not a destination so .....my story isn't over yet;...me

 I've been doing an employability and resilience course run by local mental health services for the last 3 weeks. Work used to be my identity, I've always been anxious socially so only have had a few close friends and although I got on with most people I worked with I rarely socialised outside of work apart from with the few friends I knew I could trust so work was my life but I didn't have much independence apart from work and looking after Warwick my horse and I still lived with my parents until I got admitted to the mental health ward in 2015. ( apart from living in halls at uni and working in Lancashire at a horse rescue centre  for 6 months when I finished uni and that's when my severe bulimia began when I was 21...) As I have mentioned before my mental health problems started when I was about 12 probably even earlier I had social anxiety and depression and an eating disorder and it all tied in with feeling I wasn't good enough and didn't fit in. So I am pr

 Sorry this is a negative post but being honest where I am at. Recovery from any mental illness is never a straight road there are always hurdles and recovery doesn't mean cured just means better at dealing with.  For me at my worst I get suicidal and self harm to deal with my eating disorder and apart from some minor self harm which hasn't been recently, I haven't taken an overdose since the end of 2018 and I am proud of that achievement.  I am alot happier since then as have had choir and  supportive friends at choir but the rest of my life still isn't where I would have wanted it to be at nearly 40....and lockdown hasn't helped it. I've been eternally single and tbh I would do anyones head in to be in a relationship with anyone...I do my own head in...I don't think u can expect anyone else to like u if u don't like yourself and I'm getting better at it but not there yet. I didn't achieve doing my nursing and haven't even worked for 7 years