Life is a journey not a destination so .....my story isn't over yet;...me

 I've been having CBT for eating disorders for a while now, I've had 9 of 10 sessions then will have a 1 month and 3 month follow up. I was getting told to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks but as much as I tried as best I could I didn't fully stick to it, cycling between throwing half eaten meals away then bingeing.  I've been doing a sponsored swim and been quite active at choir, trips away and the stables so have lost weight but I haven't found a consistent way I trust. I have been told many times if you eat 3 meals and 3 snacks, don't cut out food groups, your body will find its set point weight but it takes a long time to find it so I'm scared to try it on my own as dont know exact portion sizes etc. So I've given in to a fad diet that keeps showing up as an advert on my Facebook (that's great that I put lots about eating disorders on my Facebook and blog yet Facebook has tried to sell me a diet). I normally do a monthly food shop and I got a cost of liv

I started writing my blog as a way to help people understand mental health from a perspective of someone with eating and personality disorders. This post is about eating disorders and that is where all my mental health problems began. A few conversations recently made me think of it.  When people think of eating disorders though they think of someone who is visibly anorexic or think of someone bigger as "fat". But someone with anorexia has a " voice" that tells them not to eat, that they're too fat, not good enough at any weight someone will start with that voice at a normal or even overweight weight so long before they get to looking visibly anorexic. Some people fall into a category called eating disorder not otherwise specified if they have all the thinking and behaviour of an anorexic without being the low bmi. For me bulimia came in too. I had the voice telling me I couldn't eat but then I had to give into it, sometimes it was my rational self telling m