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Showing posts from May, 2021

Finally finding my confidence at 40

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 I write so many of my blog posts on mental health awareness and my mental health journey but tonight I'm feeling so positive, 2 and a half years ago I never thought what I'm achieving now would ever have been possible. I have a diagnosis of avoidant personality disorder, a mental condition that causes extreme shyness, inadequacy, sensitivity to rejection and an inferiority complex. It is called avoidant personality disorder as basically you avoid all situations that cause you to be anxious, or run away from them...most social situations I've always struggled and avpd is a severe type of social anxiety, so I'm proud of how much I challenge myself and "feel the fear and do it anyway" and hope one day I will be the confident person I want to be. Before joining choir 2 and a half years ago I barely went anywhere on my own apart from to the stables to see Warwick and some volunteering at events for bransby horses at their events. (in 2015 I was in hospital for a y

Borderline personality disorder awareness month

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May is Borderline personality disorder awareness month so thought would write a post about what it is like to live with Borderline personality disorder.  Although it isn't my main diagnosis I do have Borderline personality disorder (as well as dependent and avoidant personality disorder). I also have bulimia, eating disorders is how my mental health problems began when I was about 12 or even before....people don't fit in boxes so no 2 people with bpd are the same. A misconception about bpd is people with bpd are attention seeking and manipulative and untreatable so often services won't treat people who they class as too complex and sadly 10 percent of people with bpd die by suicide.  Personality disorders are caused by attachment issues in early childhood, mine were caused by being adopted after my birth mum died. I've always had anxious attachments since childhood scared of people leaving and dying still my biggest fear but in my case my avoidant personality disorder m