Trying to find the positives during a confidence crisis...

Feel like getting my thoughts out there as I'm laid awake being self critical about not being "perfect" but who is, everybody makes mistakes were human and that's ok.
Recently I was feeling bad about not volunteering for the horse charity I volunteer at as much as I used to. Physical health wise I was struggling to keep up with the yard staff looking after the horses on the yard regularly so I have just focused on volunteering at their events. I felt I had let them down though but the other day got mentioned in their volunter news letter that I had been volunteering for them for 2 years so it was nice to have been recognised despite me feeling I didn't do enough.
Yesterday I did a gig with choir, I have had a cold all week so wasn't sure i was going to be able to do it. There were a couple of songs i hadn't known before and i learnt and knew the words for, but then theres another song i have a mental block remembering the words for and i didn't remember the words again, i noticed other people are the same sometimes and then you follow each other and pick it back up but my very self critical part of me was annoyed at myself that i wasn't word perfect. But then when I thought about it last year I didn't go to that gig because I hadn't had the confidence to go at all so I guess instead of looking at the negative I can think things can only get better. I can practice songs even more and can continue to fight my anxiety to get more confident. It's stupid I'm the most quiet, shy un confident person but I would love to just have the confidence to just enjoy myself more and not care what anyone thinks. One day I will develop into the person I want to be....

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