Feeling positive....thinking about life goals...
After a couple of low weeks, I'm feeling more positive again in general (I'm making myself eat regularly as skipping meals leads to having to eat later on anyway so ends up a yo yo effect which affects metabolism and leads to weight gain in the end anyway and when I don't eat and restrict my mood goes rubbish and I feel physically ill and struggle to enjoy anything including the things I love doing)....hopefully this thinking and feeling can last. The positive is even when I have my low moods I still have positive life goals....I think thinking of the big 4 0 in a years time has got me thinking.
Anyway that's the mental health stuff out of the way, I have decided to cancel my gym membership as I rarely use it. I haven't swum since October when I did a sponsored swim because had a sinus infection and blocked ears so I don't want to make them worse and I'm going to save the money I would have been paying for the gym to save up to hopefully go on a choir tour in a year or 2. Would be good to go on one next year as it is also the year I'm 40 so would be good to do something memorable. From an exercise point of view I'm going to start helping my mum and dad walk their dogs as I used to enjoy walking the dogs and it helps my mum and dad as they struggle to get them out regularly ( I will get asbo Dexter to listen to me lol, saint Barney is easy to walk) and I have an agoraphobic cat lol so don't ever get outside with him and I have some old exercise DVDs I'm going to try to do once I get fully back on track with eating regularly. Once I've seen ENT specialist about my blocked ears and sinuses I will try swim once a week just because it was something I enjoyed doing. I'm also going to aim to be more effective at budgeting as I need to get out of my overdraft, it's the only debt I have but I still need to get rid of it ( my mum has become my personal accountant bless her as it is her strong point more than mine).
I've also been thinking lately, well for a while really, one of my life goals is I want to get back to helping other people which I used to love doing as a support worker. My goal of doing my nursing degree without having dealt with my insecurities about not feeling good enough socially or academically led to the year long worst mental health crisis I ever had, so I am scared of putting any big pressure on myself but I also do have some resilience and so know eventually with the right support I want to get back into paid work. For now I am in a 2 year therapy program 3 full days a week and still get support workers a few hours a week. So during the time I'm in therapy I'm doing some goal setting, first with the little things I struggle with but I'm also going to look at doing some volunteer work in care and have enrolled to do a distance learning course in "understanding child and adolescent mental health problems" as when I was going to do mental health nursing my goal was to work in Camhs. If young people are treated with early intervention hopefully they won't become long term mental health service users as adults. That's where it went wrong for me. Camhs didn't help me they just said I wasn't severe enough as a teenager, surely if things are treated before they get severe treatment will be more effective. Even if I don't become a mental health nurse, there are support worker level jobs which I would like to aim to do again. I'm also going to do my GCSE maths in September because I only got a D at school I hate maths. I say I can't do maths but I have passed functional maths level 2 twice which is an equivalent to GCSE grade a to c ( I needed a GCSE grade c or above or equivalent to do my nursing but a level 2 only lasts 3 years before it runs out for nursing so because I deferred my place at uni I had to redo it). I also passed a maths test you had to do to get accepted for the nursing degree so I'm hoping I will be able to pass a GCSE. I'm thinking if I have my maths it will give me better job prospects in the future. I did also think of considering looking into being a teaching assistant but I'm not sure if my mental health problems would stop me being able to do that. I know people with similar problems to mine have been allowed to work in healthcare and nursing once they were stable.
The main problems I have in the meantime are my physical and mental health. I don't have the stamina I had due to the damage over the years from self harm and eating disorders which mean I get tired easily which is a pain, I used to often work 60 hour weeks when I worked and also I need to be able to manage my mental health better once I put more pressure on myself as I don't want it to trigger things to get worse again so I have 2 years for my physical and mental health problems to get better. The therapeutic community I go to is for 2 years full time and then there is a 2 year leavers program where you still have mental health support once a week alongside work or education or wherever your life leads you...I guess the world is your oytser.
Anyway that's the mental health stuff out of the way, I have decided to cancel my gym membership as I rarely use it. I haven't swum since October when I did a sponsored swim because had a sinus infection and blocked ears so I don't want to make them worse and I'm going to save the money I would have been paying for the gym to save up to hopefully go on a choir tour in a year or 2. Would be good to go on one next year as it is also the year I'm 40 so would be good to do something memorable. From an exercise point of view I'm going to start helping my mum and dad walk their dogs as I used to enjoy walking the dogs and it helps my mum and dad as they struggle to get them out regularly ( I will get asbo Dexter to listen to me lol, saint Barney is easy to walk) and I have an agoraphobic cat lol so don't ever get outside with him and I have some old exercise DVDs I'm going to try to do once I get fully back on track with eating regularly. Once I've seen ENT specialist about my blocked ears and sinuses I will try swim once a week just because it was something I enjoyed doing. I'm also going to aim to be more effective at budgeting as I need to get out of my overdraft, it's the only debt I have but I still need to get rid of it ( my mum has become my personal accountant bless her as it is her strong point more than mine).
I've also been thinking lately, well for a while really, one of my life goals is I want to get back to helping other people which I used to love doing as a support worker. My goal of doing my nursing degree without having dealt with my insecurities about not feeling good enough socially or academically led to the year long worst mental health crisis I ever had, so I am scared of putting any big pressure on myself but I also do have some resilience and so know eventually with the right support I want to get back into paid work. For now I am in a 2 year therapy program 3 full days a week and still get support workers a few hours a week. So during the time I'm in therapy I'm doing some goal setting, first with the little things I struggle with but I'm also going to look at doing some volunteer work in care and have enrolled to do a distance learning course in "understanding child and adolescent mental health problems" as when I was going to do mental health nursing my goal was to work in Camhs. If young people are treated with early intervention hopefully they won't become long term mental health service users as adults. That's where it went wrong for me. Camhs didn't help me they just said I wasn't severe enough as a teenager, surely if things are treated before they get severe treatment will be more effective. Even if I don't become a mental health nurse, there are support worker level jobs which I would like to aim to do again. I'm also going to do my GCSE maths in September because I only got a D at school I hate maths. I say I can't do maths but I have passed functional maths level 2 twice which is an equivalent to GCSE grade a to c ( I needed a GCSE grade c or above or equivalent to do my nursing but a level 2 only lasts 3 years before it runs out for nursing so because I deferred my place at uni I had to redo it). I also passed a maths test you had to do to get accepted for the nursing degree so I'm hoping I will be able to pass a GCSE. I'm thinking if I have my maths it will give me better job prospects in the future. I did also think of considering looking into being a teaching assistant but I'm not sure if my mental health problems would stop me being able to do that. I know people with similar problems to mine have been allowed to work in healthcare and nursing once they were stable.
The main problems I have in the meantime are my physical and mental health. I don't have the stamina I had due to the damage over the years from self harm and eating disorders which mean I get tired easily which is a pain, I used to often work 60 hour weeks when I worked and also I need to be able to manage my mental health better once I put more pressure on myself as I don't want it to trigger things to get worse again so I have 2 years for my physical and mental health problems to get better. The therapeutic community I go to is for 2 years full time and then there is a 2 year leavers program where you still have mental health support once a week alongside work or education or wherever your life leads you...I guess the world is your oytser.
Comments
Post a Comment