Feel like mental illness took away my identity....
When I was younger I always struggled to fit in with people and my passion became horses. As a teenager although I had my mental health problems the main thing I would talk about was horse riding and my favourite horses. That was what got me through my lonely school days, knowing I would be riding my favourite horse at the weekend. I had also always enjoyed helping people and was in Saint John's ambulance cadets and wanted to become a nurse and also loved singing in the church choir. After I left school because I was bullied and didn't feel confident with people I decided I wanted to work with rescue horses so did animal care and horse studies at college and university and got a job at a horse charity in Lancashire. Unfortunately the manager wasn't very nice, he told me one day I was too heavy to ride a horse he had told me to get on and my eating disorder got really bad (I wasn't overweight then and the horse wasn't small). I had to move back home and was even going to give up horse riding my one true passion but after a few months I started helping and working at the riding school, had horses on loan, was riding regularly and did factory work. I then started teaching horse riding which originally I didn't have the confidence for but the owner of the riding school built up my confidence and I grew to love teaching especially children and adults with learning disabilities and that gave me the confidence to do care work with adults with mental health problems and learning disabilities which I did for 10 years. I had my mental health problems but I had a personality too. I had other things in my life. I bought Warwick my horse who I've now had 14 years and is still the love of my life although I don't see him as often as i used to as he is 12 miles away, i go to therapy 3 days a week and other people ride him as I'm too heavy to ride him but i enjoy giving him a good groom and treats a couple of days a week and enjoy helping teach other people to ride on him, he is really good with children if I'm there with them ( in his younger days he was very cheeky and would run off with people which is why the riding school sold him to me...i loved his cheekiness even though i am a nervous rider at times ).
After working for 10 years in care including doing agency shifts whilst on home leave from an eating disorder clinic in 2010, I decided I still wanted to train as a nurse, an ambition I had from being young. I felt I could make more of a difference as a nurse than a support worker and thought I could just forget my own problems and do it. I did do the access to nursing course and got accepted to hull university to study mental health nursing but my own problems got alot worse, I had to give up work, I got sectioned for a year and that's when I feel I lost my identity and confidence with life in general and I want and need to find a way to get it back.
I started going to a singing group with my dad after I had stopped working but before I was sectioned and then carried on going when I came out of hospital. It was a singing group for older people but they let me go, the older people were really friendly and supportive to me and I love singing but then wanted to join a choir rather than a singing group with other people my own age so that's how I found all for one choir and have refound my love for singing.
A couple of years ago I also started volunteering at Bransby horses rescue and rehab on the yard helping look after the horses and at their events to help raise money. I just do the events now as I'm not as physically fit as I was before I got heart failure and you need to be fit to do yard work. I also trained for and passed my horse riding instructor exam 2 years ago and did teach at a riding school for a year which I enjoyed but was struggling because of my mental and physical health but would like to get back to again eventually.
I am also passionate about wanting to help other people especially with mental health problems, I am open about my own mental health because the more open people are about it the more it becomes less of a taboo subject and there needs to be more awareness so we can understand and help each other but there also needs to be more professional help available when people need it, especially young people. I would like to get to a place myself where I can help young people with mental health problems and have enrolled to do a distance learning course in understanding child and adolescent mental health.
I also did a sponsored swim to raise money for charity and enjoy swimming.
I am Tracy, I aren't my mental health diagnoses I am so much more, I love my family, my friends, and my animals, I enjoy singing, swimming and helping people and animals but need to find myself again...it won't be easy as often mental health problems do take you over but there are always sparks of your old self left and i need to ignite them again...the pictures are of who I am apart from my mental health problems...
After working for 10 years in care including doing agency shifts whilst on home leave from an eating disorder clinic in 2010, I decided I still wanted to train as a nurse, an ambition I had from being young. I felt I could make more of a difference as a nurse than a support worker and thought I could just forget my own problems and do it. I did do the access to nursing course and got accepted to hull university to study mental health nursing but my own problems got alot worse, I had to give up work, I got sectioned for a year and that's when I feel I lost my identity and confidence with life in general and I want and need to find a way to get it back.
I started going to a singing group with my dad after I had stopped working but before I was sectioned and then carried on going when I came out of hospital. It was a singing group for older people but they let me go, the older people were really friendly and supportive to me and I love singing but then wanted to join a choir rather than a singing group with other people my own age so that's how I found all for one choir and have refound my love for singing.
A couple of years ago I also started volunteering at Bransby horses rescue and rehab on the yard helping look after the horses and at their events to help raise money. I just do the events now as I'm not as physically fit as I was before I got heart failure and you need to be fit to do yard work. I also trained for and passed my horse riding instructor exam 2 years ago and did teach at a riding school for a year which I enjoyed but was struggling because of my mental and physical health but would like to get back to again eventually.
I am also passionate about wanting to help other people especially with mental health problems, I am open about my own mental health because the more open people are about it the more it becomes less of a taboo subject and there needs to be more awareness so we can understand and help each other but there also needs to be more professional help available when people need it, especially young people. I would like to get to a place myself where I can help young people with mental health problems and have enrolled to do a distance learning course in understanding child and adolescent mental health.
I also did a sponsored swim to raise money for charity and enjoy swimming.
I am Tracy, I aren't my mental health diagnoses I am so much more, I love my family, my friends, and my animals, I enjoy singing, swimming and helping people and animals but need to find myself again...it won't be easy as often mental health problems do take you over but there are always sparks of your old self left and i need to ignite them again...the pictures are of who I am apart from my mental health problems...
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