How ironically an international pandemic and lockdown is helping the long term socially isolated

I was thinking back to a couple of years ago and how lonely and socially isolated I had become, the only people I was socialising with were paid support workers. I spent a year in a locked mental health hospital with limited access to the internet or phone and during that year all my old friends lives carried on and I was no longer a part of it. It's not anyones fault, at the age I am (nearly 40) people are generally married or in relationships, alot have kids, jobs and careers and busy lives. When I was in hospital and then the mental  health rehab I lived at after, I would often say to staff how I didn't have any friends I saw often and some would say they didn't see friends too...but were married or in a relationship. So I would then say precisely your not always on your own then are you. I got badly bullied at school, I know that sounds a long time ago but it did enough damage to learn not to trust people so I have never had relationships, and have only ever trusted a few people as friends and still have a couple of them and when we see each other we get on really well but I said to one of my 2 good friends the other day I don't actually have anyone I can just think oh I fancy a chat and a catch up or if I'm feeling down and my general social network is on Facebook and messenger. I think over the last couple of years I have only seen good old friends a couple of times each year, the years just seem to fly by. The year I was living at hope court the staff would do social stuff with me like going to the cinema shopping etc. and when I got my own tenancy in my flat a mental health care company, Navigo extra helped me with the social inclusion as the only places I went on my own were to swim to obsessively burn calories on my own and to see my horse, nothing with other people and so I would literally be in my flat the same as everyone else now is on lockdown, only then I would be lonely, depressed and crying knowing the only people I was socialising with were getting paid to ( I got on well with my support workers but they're obviously not friends).

My social situation improved nearly 2 years ago when I joined All for one choir. I had always enjoyed singing and was in the church choir for all of my childhood but as I got older only sang around the house, and would sing on the Wii in hospital so decided I would look into joining a choir. Google came up with All for one choir and I did actually book a taster session the year before I joined and I was going to take a support worker with me as I daren't go on my own because of my anxiety but the taster session was cancelled due to a changeover of choir leader and then it took me a year to pluck up the courage to rebook a taster session again. Fortunately a friend from the stables went so I sat with her when I first started but sadly she left. However choir is the first place I felt accepted, everyone is accepting and supportive of each other and my life does now revolve around choir gigs and social events, I have made friends from choir who I talk to online and have met outside of choir to go for coffees and out for tea etc. and have made another friend through choir who I was going to go to the cinema with before the lockdown so we will again once everything is back to normal. I am having my down days on lockdown when it reminds of those long lonely days a few years ago where I saw no end but I keep reminding myself this is a temporary situation, that is important for everyone to stay safe and well so we will all get back to socialising normally again.

And the other godsend is the internet meaning people are in touch with each other. Choir are running virtual choir sessions 5 times a week and an online interactive coffee morning once a week. It is amazing but how many people will probably have only had their one choir session a week to look forward to and been on their own lockdown for the rest of the week without that much support the rest of the time, and how many people are in the situation I was in before I joined choir and will be in complete isolation 7 days a week without anyone even thinking to reach out to them, carrying on with their own busy lives. Loneliness doesn't just affect old people it can affect people of many ages, single parents, older people, adults with mental health problems and learning disabilities and we need to remember after the country carries  on after the lockdown some people might actually go back to ironically being more lonely and socially isolated as everyone elses busy lives pick back up again. I go to a group therapeutic community for people with complex mental health problems and some others there say they are jealous of my social life and it is sad they think I have a good social life, I should give myself some credit that I have had to push myself through my social anxiety to make myself go to choir and a drama course I started doing even on my bad days but not everyone knows what they enjoy doing to find a hobby they can get involved in to meet people and so pubs and drinking become alot of peoples only social life where they won't make meaningful friendships.

There are charities for older people and people with learning disabilities that offer befriending services and I used to volunteer for one called friendship at home and I would visit an old man once a week to give him some company but there isn't anything for younger people. We need to find ways to help tackle loneliness and social isolation, I found my answer in a choir and thankfully my situation improved but hopefully this lockdown will bring communities together so everyone feels less alone in a busy world again....