Mental health recovery isn't linear...there are still bumps in the road

I know I said I wasn't going to make my blogg negative but there are still bad times where i struggle. I'm trying to be proactive by doing positive things but i think a big contribution to mental health crises is loneliness. It is recognised that older people suffer from loneliness due to them retiring, losing husbands and wives and their children growing up but young people can also be lonely too. When I was doing better myself I actually volunteered as a befriender for a charity for older people called friendship at home where I visited an old man who lived on his own and would just go around to keep him company for a couple of hours a week and chat to him. I got involved with that as when I did agency care shifts in older peoples homes I saw lots of lonely people...they lived with other people but often only left their rooms for meals and some even ate on their own in their rooms and you could see how sad they were. Maybe I homed into it as I have spent alot of my life not fitting in...my depression makes me often negative...I don't want to be...its just sometimes how you end up feeling. I think as you get older if for whatever reason you haven't got married or been in a long term relationship, friends lives move on and they have family lives and careers. To be honest I was often lonely even when I worked, I was friendly to people often people were back but then you go home and don't socialise. I'm trying to fit in, I try to take part in social invites and lately I have enjoyed some but then the people I have met up with are busy and no one ever texts me first, in fact they often don't reply when I text them. I don't know what is wrong with me...i know people have their own things going on in their lives. I'm happy to help if someone needs an ear to listen but I often have found people who have used me for that and I don't hear from them when their lives are going well. I guess I got used to living with other people at hope court a mental health rehab and it was nice to be able to just have a game of cards with someone as a distraction from negative thoughts, or someone to just talk about your day to. There is a place called safe space that is open 3 nights a week...sods law often the nights I'm not struggling but I have used them a couple of times and there are people to talk through your problems with and company at that time you need it. There needs to be more places for younger people to live with other people. There are group homes for adults with learning disabilities and adults over 55 but not for people with mental health problems unless they are severe enough to need 24 hour support. I guess tonight I'm just getting my thoughts out rather than being informative or helpful to anyone else...I don't have any social plans this week so will try keep myself busy then hopefully will be tired on a night instead of up all night moaning....