Frustrated with the covid putting life on hold...but more positive than past years according to Facebook memories



 I'm sure people get fed up of me going on about Facebook memories but saw one today was a status from 2014, the final year I admitted defeat on ever been able to go to uni to train as a mental health nurse and I was totally hopeless. I saw no future, was only going out with support workers or family and was taking overdoses constantly. 

I'm frustrated that caronavirus has put this years plans on hold but I don't feel hopeless, more impatient. Hopeless isn't a good place to be it is a dark lonely place of suicidal thoughts and attempts and I want life to carry on, there is so much i want to do. I want to do some volunteer work then eventually paid work again, I want to one day go on tour with choir, I want to get back singing with choir and doing gigs and I'm positive these things will happen again it's just knowing when.

We are on holiday from choir at the moment and it has turned out a couple of my good friends are also free so went for a nice tea out with one of my best friends other day and going out for the day with another friend this week too and have met a couple of choir friends over the last few weeks.....I often get in a dark place over food but never dark enough to not want to carry on....life is for living and hopefully one day I can be happy with myself 

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