World mental health day 2021

 Today is World mental health day and the theme is mental health in an unequal World.

I was thinking often people maybe think I overshare about my mental Health but unfortunately because I've been heavily involved in mental health services, and for alot of the time before I joined choir I was only socialising with other people with mental health problems and then mental health support workers I forget that something that seems minor to me and others who have been in similar situations, worries other people who aren't used to it, im glad there are people who haven't lived in that situation. I was in a locked hospital for ladies who had personality disorders but all had that diagnosis on a history of self harm and suicide attempts, usually caused by trauma in childhood. I'm proud I'm no longer in that situation, even in times of crisis now it ends in some minor self harm and struggling with my eating disorder and I forget "normal" people worry about self harm, I did before I knew about it but then through working as a support worker with people who self harmed, often it is a coping mechanism, not all self harm is suicide, for me it's not a coping mechanism it's when I get so emotional and upset I lose control momentarily but it rarely happens and I'm safe to live on my own etc. Unlike a few years ago when I wasn't safe even in hospital on constant observations, so had staff with me 24 hours a day to keep me safe. I'm proud I'm not in that place and it makes me sad when I see friends who are struggling to see that we deserve to live, we can have a positive life and even in between our dark times there are good times.

Unfortunately mental health is still judged, self harm and suicide attempts are judged until someone succeeds at suicide and then lots of people will offer their sympathy but it needs to be treated with compassion and understanding, underneath the dark thoughts is still the person and all their talents and qualities, they just need help to see it and be helped to stay safe until they can be motivated to find reasons to stay safe themselves which is hard when your in the depths of despair.But it can be done.

Unfortunately people with certain diagnoses in mental health services such as personality disorders or other long term conditions are left untreated, treatment for mild to moderate anxiety and depression is quicker to access and is good for people who are first trying to get help for their mental health and early intervention is the key to timely, long term recovery. 

Unfortunately alot of us don't get the right help at the right time, too high functioning,  too complex,  wrong diagnosis, and then we become complex cases.

Statistics show that people from poor backgrounds, black people and the LGBTQ community have the highest rates of mental health problems and find it hard to access mental health services, and since the start of the pandemic people have lost jobs or been furlough or had to keep businesses afloat despite restrictions especially in hospitality, entertainment and travel, as well as increased anxiety of ourselves and family and friends becoming ill and dying of covid,  all these factors have increased the need for mental health support and caused another pandemic of mental health problems.

I'm open about my mental health as we shouldn't be ashamed of it any more than a physical health problem. I want to show we don't have to remain a complex, hopeless case for recovery, recovery isn't cure, it's finding ways to manage your mental health and be able to live a positive life despite it, by finding healthy distractions and goals, for me they are singing with choir, Warwick my horse and teaching horse riding and swimming although often my anxiety means I struggle to go on my own lately,  I still get alot out of going when I do and am aiming to complete a sponsored swim again which I have started but need to get more into so I can go on my own again, its not like who I'm with can do anything for my anxiety it's about managing my own thoughts but I do feel more confident with someone else.

I still have support for my mental health at a therapeutic community for people with personality disorders, 3 days a week, and have been referred for cbt for my eating disorder again, as I had it 10 years ago but have dealt with some of my other mental health problems now so hopefully I will be able to engage with it better this time. 

In a world where we can be anything be kind, we don't know what others are going through.